What is it about this time of year that seems to make the calendar speed up to paces out of our control? The traffic feels more congested, but faster; the nights later and the mornings earlier; the weekends faster; the exhaustion more pronounced.
I call this month between Thanksgiving and Christmas the “Magnified Time”, since everything seems to be so much greater, so much… more, during this time.
The joys we experience are more profound this time of year. I don’t know if it’s the colder weather, the fires in the fireplaces (sometimes even with real wood!), the perfect gifts we search far and wide for. Whatever it is, it just seems like there is something special in the air.
Family get-togethers can be downright rich in the quality of time spent together. The kids play more freely and joyously together, enjoying the anticipation of the gifts they will soon be receiving; the adults laugh more often, enjoying the care-free feelings that come with increased time off work, good food, and time with family.
But the bad times, the hurts, the loneliness—these too are more profoundly felt during this Magnified Time.
Loss of relationship can be especially painful, stinging more during the holidays than at any other time of the year. The death of a close friend or family member can feel like salt in an open wound…
The thing with magnifying glasses is that they can help, or harm, depending on the way they are used. Anyone with poor eyesight can sing the praises of a magnifying glass as it assists them in their reading. Any botanist can sing the praises of a magnifying glass as it allows them to see the extreme details of their subjects, providing them with a deeper and more intimate knowledge. Any young boy can sing the praises of a magnifying glass as it focuses sunlight into a fiery concentrated beam on newspaper, gunpowder, or wanton bugs.
The same tool, each use aimed at blowing up; it just depends on your definition of the phrase…
So, what do we do with the magnified feelings of the holiday season?
If we are like most people, we bury them. We hide from them. We fail to confront them.
We have this deep fear, as humans, of being exposed, and so when the Magnified Time exposes our hurts, our pain, our fears, we run and hide.
Sometimes running might look like getting away from it all and taking a trip out of town to avoid family members. Sometimes running might just be dreaming of taking such a trip. Maybe it’s running to the refrigerator, hiding in the comforts of food while avoiding the confrontations of the season.
Sometimes we hide behind happy faces when we are really dying inside. Sometimes we hide our true emotions from our close friends or family members, fearing that they might know “the real us”. Sometimes we hide behind masks of false decorum in an effort to avoid unpleasant relationships “since it’s Christmastime”.
I can’t think of any other time when our strained relationships are masked by fake goodness in the name of “getting along”.
Now, I’m not saying that this “getting along” can’t lead to reconciliation; I hope it does. And sometimes, that façade is all we need to get the ball rolling and the conversations started about who hurt whom, when, and why. Often, honest communication can be such a problem-solver.
But what I am saying is that we have a choice in how we use the magnifying glass of this season. Are we going to let it focus intense light on our relationships, on our pain, on our hurts, to the point where we get consumed by destructive thought patterns, destructive language, destructive behavior? Or are we going to use the magnifying glass as a tool for examining the details, the areas that need a little rebuilding?
Successful surgeons use them, you know…
Are we going to allow the pace of the season to overtake us, like some tidal wave, where we stand helpless to it, or are we going to dig our feet in, stand our ground, and take time during the holiday season to just be?
My hope, my prayer, is that we can allow the Magnified Time to act as a catalyst for positive change. Maybe it’s noticing that we have lost relationship, maybe it’s seeing that we get caught up in consumerism, maybe it’s noticing that we carry along bitterness.
Maybe we need to let go of these things.
Maybe we need to work at reconciliation.
Maybe we need to build in to the people in our lives, letting them know how special they are to us, letting them feel goodness magnified.
Maybe we need to take more time for ourselves.
Maybe we need to shop online more, to avoid the agitation of overcrowded shopping malls.
Maybe that incredible sale is costing us more than we think.
Maybe a day without a cell phone can help us regain our sense of identity.
Maybe taking an extra day off work, school, or duty and spending that time with our immediate family can be the best gift we can give.
Maybe opening the door for a stranger can communicate so much more than “you go first”.
Maybe generosity can be more than just buying another gift for someone.
Whatever it is, maybe this Magnified Time can motivate us to ask some of these tough questions.
Maybe asking these tough questions will turn some of these “bads” into some “goods”.
Maybe there is hope for the season, after all.
Maybe…
